Talentime NJC

Wow, God is beautiful. Because i see so much of Him in the many talents of the NJC kids... kids dancing, and singing... so vibrant with spirits that are vulnerable, yet on stage they shine like diamonds being polished. So many kids to talk about. But today i'll talk about Michelle. Somehow, Michelle just shined. She always did in school... and i always knew she sang. But today was different... somehow, a part of her connected with the people in LT1... that's lovely. That's awesome. That's God. And, i'm so glad to have been a part of your life last year. Michelle, if you are reading this... i just want to let you know how special God made you.
Valene, i wonder if you're reading this too. You can really dance. But there's more than that. In class you have this quiet spirit that's just waiting to break loose... in a good way. Be all you can be, for you can be ALOT. But find yourself at the same time... that will be the most beautiful thing you'll ever find... and when we look at God, that's when we find ourselves as well... (that makes sense because He created all of us... and knows us better than we know ourselves.)

3 things i hope we won't forget too...
"You give me JOY that's unspeakable... and i like it, and i like it yeah... your love for me's irresistable, i can't fight it, i can't fight it yeah... "
"Tears cross my eyes when i look into the stars of the night, shining so big and bright; when here i am, a part of me dying, am i hiding, lying on the bed tired and tried... i couldn't understand, did God throw the dice? Stage 4 cancer not once but twice and the pains that you bore so silently... ironicly bravely lucidity so i see you on the hospital bed, vision blurred, voice slurred, both of our eyes, swollen and red. And how much time did you have left? I heard the tick of the clock and i counted your every breath. As morphine dripped and you were concast, and the fear that gripped my heart - which breath will be the last... then from the darkness you said vividly...'do something great for God, son' and you left me..." <-- hey mum, if you're reading, hope you're proud of a washout like me.
"You hold me close so i can thrive, when you touch me that's when i know, i know i'm alive..."

Take it from a guy like me who's suffered most of his life.
I've never felt more alive than when i'm walking with God.
Love
Ken

Speaking at LFF Church @ SANA 13 Feb 2005 - is Jesus real?

hey gang, i'll be speaking at Little Flock Fellowship Church, 10 Seng Poh Road, SANA Councilling centre at Tiong Bahru side on the 13 Feb Sunday 2:00pm if you want to check it out. Who are we to have the privilege to administer God's word? I often think about that, we are so imperfect... yet as Paul said, remember that we are who are because of Christ ... the restoration of grace. Everytime God looks at us, He doesn't see a flawed being, He sees Jesus Christ. Let's all remember that as we serve Him in exousia. Oh, this is the message of my heart: Jesus, the man that cut history in two. Reasons to believe He lives at the post modern present time of knowledge and relativity. Thank you for covering this in prayer.

SITUATION ZERO: Am I dying? I don't know, but we still gotta spread God's love

Everyday, there's a high chance of my body breaking down.Skin gets worse unless i have high precautions (READ: no life, can't do 85% of the things i want to do) and take anti-rejection pills. Kidney transplant patients take 3 pills a day to live. I take 2-3 as well. As i take it, i get tired, dizzy, hungry, and feel like throwing up. I can't work like normal people... but by God's grace i do so much more than my capabilities. At the same time, i can't take this drug forever, my kidneys are not healthy because of it.If i stop taking it, my eczema spreads until my whole body is on fire and i get infections all over the body (Doctor has already classified me as severe case, hasn't seen much worse) .Either way, i feel spent, and emotionally in check, knowing i'm living between a rock and a hard place and i feel the rock and hard place squeezing me slowly ... time may run out.But what saddens me is not the physical suffering, i can't really get used to it, but you build up your tolerance by focusing your eyes on God's love - God knows how we feel. (Psalm 139). What saddens me is that there's such a lack of love and sensitivity around. I only want to spread God's love with the time i got left, but no one seems to know my dreams, or care that i won't be productive in the future, unless of course God does a miracle. But don't get me wrong, it's not my disease that saddens me... but through the disease, you see how people treat you and treat others and are saddened. Christ would do so many things differently. He wouldn't have cared what people thought and think of people that are suffering, empowering them and showing that he knows.He wouldn't spent so much time thinking of their own goals and pursuits, when the goal and pursuit of caring and lifting the fellow man would give more meaning than that.It;s a dark world, and some people who are more vulnerable see more darkness than others.like me.Only God's light is the comfort and gives me meaning to go on and do something radical in this world... if not for Him, there would be no reason for me to live a long time ago. When will people here, esp the Christians overflow with God's love and sensitivity? That's all that's needed to cause a massive revolution that will blow others away.
Ken
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love".

Song III (Mar 2003)

Comfort me
Kenneth Koh
D A/D Em7 A7sus4
Dld you know all my pains
Everyday’s the same
I don’t know who else I can blame
I traveled all alone
Nothing to call my own
But the light that you had once put in me

Em D/F# G A
How could I know you’d love me
When it’s so dark that I can’t see
past the pains that shackle me (set me free)
How could I ever thought I’d feel
That your love for me was real
Unless you reach out your hands and

D A/D Em7 A7sus4
Comfort me
Bm A G
Comfort me
Em7
Won’t you come and comfort me?
D/F#
Could you know all my fears?
G A7sus4
I wish that you were here
D
My Jesus, please comfort me

Whisper in the wind
A voice inside begins
From a heart bleeding with fear from within
I’m lost in the dark
Maybe I’ll find my way out
If I follow closely the rhythm of your heart

"The poor man cried and the Lord heard him and delivered Him out of all of His troubles." Psalm 34

Song II (Feb 2002)

Cry
Kenneth Koh

Stumbling as you walk
With every step you take (always one step late)
Journey’s like a marathon, you try
But you still fall on your face

Is pride your only passion?
And loneliness your friend (why don’t you reach out your hand)
Don’t you know the deed has been done, it’s no longer
you to make amends (somebody understands)

Feeling, not knowing, the longing you fear
Embracing, this heart ache no more, I am here

CHORUS:
And I cry, I cry for you
(somebody wipe the tear from my eye, wipe the tears this time I try)
And I cry, I cry for you
(take a look at me now, and you’d know, everything’s gonna be alright)
You’re reeling from all that’s real
(Please help me) denying the voice you feel… you try
but you can’t escape the tears from my eye.
(do you long to fly?)

Is this the price for your fame? In the corner,
You turn off the phone (and you feel so alone)
So how have you gained, when you find that this pain
Was not meant to be your own
(and this is how it goes, this is how it goes)

Bridge Rap:
There you are standing on the microphone
You’re shouting out loud, but you feel all alone
Is there someone around that you could talk to
Hawk to, understand you and to let you be you
A dead man walking, don’t speak a sound
Let me tell you how it is; how it’s going down.
Open your eyes and see the tears too
Understand why he got the tears for you.

Thoughts on the Ragged Road III

I ran today. I ran and i ran. My mind feels better somehow after draining myself... but i wonder what will happen when my skin gets bad and I can't run anymore? Ken.

Breakthrough 1: Jesus March

Under the deep blue sky, hearts so frail, but then they try; we may be poor in this world. We may be blind. But the light still shines. Stars don't need us to shine bright, They go on without a reason despite. Same as us, there must be something, they must. Riches i don't need... bling i don't heed... ever. Even if we are blind, we see more than clearly because You are mine and i'm yours more dearly. Thanks for saving me. Thanks for saving us. You are the meaning of love, you are the meaning of trust. Thank you for the gift of music... a small musician like me in the big roads of Thailand. Ken. Ephesians 3:20: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

Breakthrough 1: Mission Trip to Thailand

Hey, despite all my health problems, I MADE God promise to let me go Thailand to serve Him. It was amazing... sure, my skin did suffer, but the joys in serving God... being with real friends, and seeing God doing miracles. He healed a man from HIV. Set his heart on fire to be a missionary... wow, God, you make all things new and give people reason to live! Props to you God!

Without Ciclosporin after a few months...

Thoughts on the Ragged Road II

Something is definitely wrong. Has my health finally gone to a new low level? Small movements give me vertigo now, brain can't think ... my students see my passion in class through my eyes, iwonder if they see the disorientation?
God, you cut down Gideon's army from 22000 to 300 just to show people that you are God. (Judges 6)
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this allsurpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Cor 4:7

Thoughts on the Ragged Road I

Tuesday - I spent the last three days, faint, feverish, nauseous, disorientated - legs moving automatically as my mind stood still. Bodily functions i can't control ... drool on the table, and i'm wide awake. Maybe it were tears, but i forgot the difference, or my mind can't seperate the two, too few synapse left, only the heart can connect the two.
Pills to surpress my skin disease destroying my kidneys slowly. This is only a taste of things to come, should it come to pass. This is no fever. This is no passing phase. This is what it feels like when chemical imbalances ravage the interior. All it took to trigger it was one day of bad sleep. Just one day. How do you choose between what i went through the pass 3 days - a body that is rebelling against nature, and an uncontrolable skin disease that destroys your skin, your life, you?
Why'd you let me bear the decision to live or die at this age?
But God, i've been through it before.
Why'd you give me eyes that see as an 80 year old?
Why'd you make my heart to serve you?
It's lonely to be so sick, and the rest of my time i give to you.
But you let me achieve more than i ever thought, more than most healthy others over the years.
No reason to believe you can't take me through another level.
It's lonely, young people only want to hang with other young people. And they will never understand how a man so young with radiance in his spirit has a body that's dying. They will never understand why i NEED to do some things of God before its too late.
Dying.
There's beauty in that seed.
"Before a seed dies completely, how can it flourish and yield fruit many times it's size?"
All things i do not know.
But this i do, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has in store for those who love Him." 1 Cor 2:9.
No eye, no ear... even dying eyes, like mine.
Ken