SITUATION ZERO: Am I dying? I don't know, but we still gotta spread God's love

Everyday, there's a high chance of my body breaking down.Skin gets worse unless i have high precautions (READ: no life, can't do 85% of the things i want to do) and take anti-rejection pills. Kidney transplant patients take 3 pills a day to live. I take 2-3 as well. As i take it, i get tired, dizzy, hungry, and feel like throwing up. I can't work like normal people... but by God's grace i do so much more than my capabilities. At the same time, i can't take this drug forever, my kidneys are not healthy because of it.If i stop taking it, my eczema spreads until my whole body is on fire and i get infections all over the body (Doctor has already classified me as severe case, hasn't seen much worse) .Either way, i feel spent, and emotionally in check, knowing i'm living between a rock and a hard place and i feel the rock and hard place squeezing me slowly ... time may run out.But what saddens me is not the physical suffering, i can't really get used to it, but you build up your tolerance by focusing your eyes on God's love - God knows how we feel. (Psalm 139). What saddens me is that there's such a lack of love and sensitivity around. I only want to spread God's love with the time i got left, but no one seems to know my dreams, or care that i won't be productive in the future, unless of course God does a miracle. But don't get me wrong, it's not my disease that saddens me... but through the disease, you see how people treat you and treat others and are saddened. Christ would do so many things differently. He wouldn't have cared what people thought and think of people that are suffering, empowering them and showing that he knows.He wouldn't spent so much time thinking of their own goals and pursuits, when the goal and pursuit of caring and lifting the fellow man would give more meaning than that.It;s a dark world, and some people who are more vulnerable see more darkness than others.like me.Only God's light is the comfort and gives me meaning to go on and do something radical in this world... if not for Him, there would be no reason for me to live a long time ago. When will people here, esp the Christians overflow with God's love and sensitivity? That's all that's needed to cause a massive revolution that will blow others away.
Ken
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love".