Monday, March 28, 2005

Grace like Grapes

Today I got promoted.
When i first heard the news, i didn't even register.
The Principal was talking about different things in her agenda and then she mentioned promotions.
I totally didn't expect anything.
Because last year i struggled mightily with skin and body problems, struggling if i'd ever make a difference in the world, wondering if it has any place for a handicap like me. No more thoughts of climbing a ladder, I can't be concerned with how others rank me... all i can do is look out for my kids.
I was overwhelmed. I couldn't even think. Most people are estatic - happy. I wanted to cry, but there were no more tears inside...?
Shocked.
Then i felt crushed.
Crushed?
Yes. That's the Grace of God.
It's unspeakable.
It crushes you like grapes... and while under it's influence, you see the wine within overflow in you to all around. Overflowing. God makes water into wine.
Grace makes living waters in you pour out like wine too.
Love
Ken

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Viscious Cycle 1

Sleep increases healing. Lack of sleep causes skin to break down.
Breaking down of the skin causes greater pain, making it harder to sleep.
Lack of sleep for extended periods causes the body to not be able to sleep regularly.
Combination of lack of sleep and a skin problem that is always hurting causes discouragement and disillusionment.
Questions like "Will i ever recover?" and, "Will the world recognize people despite their shortcomings?" causes people to stop fighting to recover.
3 viscious cycles all interlinked that reinforce each other... till you are totally broken down physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I've been there 3 years ago. Many have lost the will to recover.
Now i still fight to break these cycles.
David said in Psalm 27: "I would have despaired unless i have believed I'd see His glory in the land of the living."
I don't know how, I don't know when. But I do know what the fact that history records that Jesus died for my sins, makes me believe in the impossible.
The impossible will to fight the impossible fight.
Thank you for joining me in my struggles.
I love you very much.
We'll walk this land together.
And sing of God's grace together.

Ken