Operation NJC RockX - Sadness Part I (dear Mum)

Tears cross my eyes when I look into the stars of the night,
shining so big and bright
When here I am, a part of me dying
am I hiding lying on the bed, tired and tried?
How was I to know you’d leave me,
with all my regrets and you know, that I can’t see
past, the times I ignored you, ran right past you, didn’t give a damn but
you were there to understand me, embrace me,
giving in me the strength to face adversary
Now you’re gone, the night's so long, get me through
where i don't belong, seperated from you.

Now that I look back, hold on
The memories come back, they are coming in strong
The tears that drop in the blink of an eye
Was it a way in the darkness for me to deny
The obvious truth, what I lost, there’s no sleep on this bed I toss
Remember when you tuck me to sleep,
making sure that I knew all the prayers I keep
And you sat by me, held my hand, helping me always to understand
That no matter tough this life could be, you’d be right there, God’s gift to me.

I couldn’t understand, did God throw the dice
Stage four cancer not once but twice and the pains that you bore so silently
Ironically, bravely, lucidity, and I see you lay there on the hospital bed
Vision blurred, voice slurred, both of our eyes swollen and red
And how much time did you have left?
I heard the tick of the clock and I counted your every breath
As morphine dripped and you were concast
The fear that gripped my heart, which breath would be the last
Then from the deathly silence, I heard vividly
“Do something great for God, son” and you left me.

You left me.