Sadness Redux II (10 May 2006)

Everytime i look back it's like i'm always holding on
to memories jacked up in me, so strong, so wrong
what's going on? hands over my eyes, my mind's
flipping it, rippin' ing coming wit lyrical cries, i deny
the obvious truth, what i lost
i can't move, no sleep, on this bed i toss
remembering how you'd tuck me to sleep
making sure that i knew all the prayers i keep
and you stood by me, held my hand
so i could see and understand the greater plan - who i am!
so no matter, whatever, however tough it could be,
you'd be right there loving just the way it should be

"... and i cry, i cry for you... somebody wipe those tears
wipe those tears from my eyes tonight..
... and i cry, i cry for you... don't me go
don't let me go, hold me now hold me tight."

Picture this. Imagine that.
Stage four cancer not once but twice. God where you at?
On the bed alone crying she was broken and sad
like mice running away, and Death was the cat
but she can't run anymore, she's on the hospital bed
vision blurred, voice slurred, both our eyes swollen and red
and how much time did you have left?
I heard the tick of the clock and i counted your every breath
as morphene dripped, and you were concast
and the fear gripped, i trip on which breath would be the last
then from the darkness i heard you vividly
"Do something great for God," and you left me.
left me.

"... and i cry, i cry for you... somebody wipe those tears
wipe those tears from my eyes tonight..
... and i cry, i cry for you... don't me go
don't let me go, hold me now hold me tight."

Psalm 58:8
"You've kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger
each ache written in your book"